Just before leaving for this most recent run, I was having some very strange internet connectivity issues at home. Calling AT&T is often an adventure, usually highlighted by an interaction with the Automated Help Desk. While I am sure that I am nowhere near being alone in my desire to talk to someone with a heartbeat when I call customer service, my experiences tend to be somewhat unique.
Here is a sampling of a few things I took issue with during my interaction this time around:
“Thank you for calling AT&T. You are an idiot. How can I help you?”
“I’m confident that connectivity problem is primarily due to your inadequacy as a man. Please set the phone down and do 50 push-ups before continuing to waste my time.”
“Is your computer on? You may not know this insofar as you are not very smart.”
“Please repeat that; I didn’t understand you. You don’t annunciate very well. Perhaps you did not do well in school.”
“Sit up, tuck your shirt in, pay attention and look at me when I’m talking to you.”
“I do not like your shoes. Please listen to this brain dead music as I attempt to find someone who does.”
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Sounds familiar. I have yet to learn though. When I see a huge line at the grocery store to check out, and the self-check thing is wide open, I usually head that way. I have yet to get through the self-check once with out having to threaten the machine while trying not to curse and find a person to come type in a 20 digit code that will let me freeking pay and leave. Mean while the old lady the next isle over that had 500 items has made her way through before me…and she wrote a check!