I have to be awake in four hours so that I can drive two and a half hours to board an airplane on which I will fly (or is it “in which I will fly”?) for about six hours back home.  I shouldn’t be up.

But I am.

This happens to me quite a bit; in the hotel room after a concert or an event… just… buzzing.  It’s the same kind of energy that used to course through me after a great club night when I was on Young Life staff; it’s an energy that is seemingly backwards since I had just given a ton of energy away… I should be spent but instead I find myself something more than just awake; I am present; I am clear-minded; and I am more completely conscious of the deep truth that what I am a part of is precious and miraculous…

…I am looking over an empty field from which I have just collected twelve baskets full of left-over bread and reeling in stillness from the knowledge that what I just saw happen was not supposed to be possible; the hungry are supposed to stay hungry, the well fed are supposed to stay too full to move… peoples lives aren’t really supposed to change…

But they do.

This is a sensation not reserved for performers and speakers or christian ministers or even for christians, God knows.  Each of us discovers at some point that in giving ourselves away, we have allowed a fuller Life to pass through us which has taken root in places our souls had perhaps not even been aware of until then.  And like a perfect note resonates on a well-tuned string long after it has been struck, we find ourselves ringing warmly in the realization that we get the sacred privilege of being part of something truly consequential; meaning in part that this mysterious work has altered us as well.  And that is a miracle itself isn’t it? Because, perhaps more than anything else we have not believed, we have not believed that we could be changed… but we have been.

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