I am surrounded by cats.  I have been for years.  This is an enormous problem in that I cannot stand cats.  It’s not an allergy thing, though I do have some allergic reaction to cat dander.  It’s also not one of those “I’m a guy and cannot like small fuzzy things because it makes me look weak and also feel kinda warm inside” things.  I just get a bad vibe from cats.  Call it male intuition, but I really think they’re up to something as a species; something that is not good; something CATastrophic… He he hahaha.. ha.. ha,.. ahem.

Now, before you think this is all about me randomly selecting an animal at which to direct the anger pent up in me as an Oakland A’s fan, allow me to share a bit of my history…

While I was on Young Life staff, I lived in a basement with another YL staff guy.  It was not really a room.  It was a basement.  We had some stuff in it to sit on and places to put things which made it room-like; but you can create that same effect outdoors.  This was a basement.  The owner of the house who was renting this basement had two cats.  One of them named something cat-ish, like “Felix” or “Tabby” or “Get Behind Me Satan.”  This cat was alright insofar as he/she/it kept to itself upstairs and rarely if ever came near either my roommate or me.  The other cat… well…

…The other cat’s name was “BK,” or “Big Kitty” which is more of a description than a name and therefore a bit like naming one of your children “Daughter #2” or “The Short One…” but that’s beside the point.  The point is that a cat by any other name would still crap on my doorstep.

You see, BK would periodically enter our place and start snooping around; I am assuming he was scoping the joint to see how easily he could hide our bodies when his master plan came to fruition.  We’d shoo the cat out using the “phssst” noise; an act that always leaves a grown man feeling so good about himself.  At one point a guest in our place warned us that if we were not kinder to the cat, the cat would seek some kind of revenge.   She was right.  BK took to the regular practice of pooping in front of our entryway..  When I write that he did it regularly, I mean it was almost everyday.

(here I pause to point out one of the primary differences between cats and dogs.  When dogs have to poop, they simply think “I have to poop right now and would like to know where other dogs have pooped so that I can keep with tradition.”  Cats, on the other hand, when they have to poop, think to themselves “where can I put this that would cause maximum torment and frustration for those who stand in the way of my dastardly plan?”)

We went through several doormats before eliminating the doormat entirely, thinking we might throw BK off.  With the doormat gone, the poop onslaught ceased… or so we thought.  BK had not at all been daunted by our removal of the doormat.  He simply shifted the strategy of his offensive and began pooping in front of our bathroom door… (to be continued)

I am honored to have guest blogged at “Inspired to Action.”  The piece is up now.  Among the many other things that make the I2A blog super-dopetastic (I’m told this is how the kids say “neat” or “good” these days), is their support of Compassion International.  Huzzah!  The blog is entitled “Tough Times and the Resurrection…. Read the blog here.  Also here…You can link to the blog here.  Or click here to read the blog.

Also here.

I’ve guest-blogged for the uber-cool site “Inspired to Action” and will letcha know when it’s up.  I’m pretty sure my piece will be posted on Wed.  Meanwhile, I’d like to give you a small look at some of the more thoughtful (read: automatically generated) comments I’ve received at the blog since I first started blogging a few months ago.  You see, one of the reasons I moved my blog activity from MySpace was to grant more ready access to readers who were not regular MySpace users, not realizing at the time that the term “regular” would grow further and further apart from the term “MySpace user” in just about all ways.  Many of my new readers (read: spam-bots) have gifted me with hours of reflection (read: hours of searching for an effective filter) and joy (read: perplexed rage).  I’d like to share some highlights with you.

It began a while back with a comment on a bit I wrote entitled “Art In The Desert.”  There was an enjoyable exchange of comments between a few readers, when out of the blue I received notification of a comment that began

Fortitude is the marshal of thought, the armor of the will, and the fort of reason.

Wow.  I hadn’t the first inkling of what on earth that meant yet I found myself inspired and hoping he (read: the bot) would elaborate on this nearly Confucius-like tidbit of wisdom; and elaborate he did..

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.. which took his previous statement to a level of depth I had never explored.

Shortly thereafter, I received a comment on a post stating that

Romance comes into your life this year in a very unusual way.

This was an interesting, albeit misplaced, prediction of my relational future.  In what unusual way would this romance come into my life?

..nice german combat helmet m16 icdgn// war hats svejs[/link][url=http://amygorsw1983/pumpkin-roll/]war hats svejs[/url]

You’re right, that’d be quite unusual. What was not unusual was for these posts to begin with flattery. For instance:

When you speak honestly and openly, others truly listen to you.

Why, that’s an awfully nice thing to say!  I’ve always valued honesty and strived to allow my transparency as a communicator to draw people in.  The commenter then added

Chihuahua puppies.

Those, too, I suppose. I’ve always valued chihuahua puppies.
Every now and again I’d receive a very forward comment suggesting I take pills to enhance my sex life, which is a common spam theme and yet just about always funny.  But the philosophical theme still tended to dominate.

The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next.

..one comment read; going on to extrapolate on the idea of common sense, writing..

housewares ssmyudansk fjord 6 piece steak knife set mint box paxygsuper rare.”

Interesting… I wonder which century that was?

There have been many more.  MANY.  But I will leave you with my favorite, most enlightening and challenging comment from the past few months.   It comes to us from a reader in Russia,.. or more likely in his parents basement in Kansas, where he uses google_translate.  In response to a piece on CA Proposition 8 and my reflections on gay marriage, this reader commented

В нынешней ситуации, большинство из тех, отходят на второй план. Мне непонятно, как мы будем жить, если собака бои системная ошибка ощутимости шлема 5?

Which, when translated into english reads.. “In the current situation, most of those moving away to second place. I wonder how we will live, if dog fights system error tangibility helmet 5?”

I very often wonder the same thing.  Let’s just hope it never comes down to that.

On the plane home from Indiana, I was reading one fo Frederick Buechner’s memoirs, entitled “Telling Secrets.”  (Not to be confused with his collection of sermons, entitled “Secrets in the Dark” or the animated classic “The Secret of NIMH” which has no correlation with Buechner at all)

In the introduction of the book, Buechner writes:

“After forty years of writing books, I find I need to put things into words before I can believe that they are entirely real.”

This is a more concise way of getting at the heart of my reflection from Warsaw.  He goes on to write…

“..what we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we fear more than anything else.”

As my previous post attests to, I am learning that one of oddest things about being “fully human” is that it includes a sense of division within myself; not being fully who I think I am or want to be.  The trick becomes not waiting until we are “whole” or “fixed,”  but embracing our complexity and incompleteness as is.  Like covering our nakedness with leaves, it seems unnaturally natural to hide behind competence and health (I actually sat staring at my screen for a bit before posting the Warsaw, IN blog because somewhere in my guts, I was afraid that I would lose standing with the millions of people who have grown up respecting me… then I realized I had confused myself with Michael Jackson, which happens all the time.)  But in the long run, keeping up appearances not only keeps us from the opportunity to be loved as we are, but furthers the social game which traps others in a fear of their own humanity.

Fred (can I call you Fred?) later writes this:

“The God of biblical faith is the God who meets us at those moments in which, for better or worse, we are being most human, most ourselves…”

This has always been part of why I write (songs, blogs, etc… ).. to unearth myself in hopes that I can/will be loved and inspireothers to do the same.  Buechner’s work does that for me, I’m just passing along the goodness.

At one point I remember reading something Thomas Merton wrote about the self being ones most potent adversary. Well..

..tonight in Warsaw, Indiana, I face myself.

I pulled into town about 8pm and headed straight to my hotel; a hotel chain I’ve had “encounters” with in the past… You might say that it is “not my favorite” hotel or that I “don’t like it” or even that it has often given me “the creeps.”  In an effort to stay above the board and avoid trash-talk, I will not reveal the name of this chain, but will heretofore refer to it as the “Hotel Wha?”

This particular “Hotel Wha?”, much like others in its national chain, lacks an exercise facility (running/working out is part of my regular routine and helps keep me focused etc..)  It also has a rather questionable breakfast set-up and is overall kinda old. Many of the rooms, including the one I am in currently, were previously smoking rooms and now have that smell that says “I’m not a smoking room.. (cough, cough… hack) what are you talking about? (cough, hack.. *awkward smile*)”.

Well..

..tonight in Warsaw, Indiana, I face myself.

In the morning, I will stand before the students at Grace College in the neighboring town of Winona to speak on behalf of the poorest of the poor; a populace who saw 14,000 children orphaned by HIV/AIDS just today; a populace for whom the “Hotel Wha?” would be a palace. In the morning, it will be March 11, a day Compassion International has set aside for the awareness of the Global Food Crisis, I which 1billion people are going without proper daily nutrition. Finally, and more immediately, it’s pouring outside, which I can see from my window and I cannot help but be reminded of pictures a friend of mine took in Haiti on a recent trip with Compassion; pictures in which entire villages were flooded from the downpour (an annual occurrence during the rainy season).

So I am faced with myself and have to look myself up and down wondering which person am I?  Am I someone who is sincerely perturbed by the stickiness of the carpet in my room?  Do I mean what I will say tomorrow? Or better yet, Do I have any right to say these things, challenging college kids to sacrifice and live more simply so that the least can simply live?  The strange answer to these questions is neither no or yes.  I am learning that the hallmark of Kingdom work is the way it transforms those who do it and that I am one such man whose life is being transformed.  So…

..tomorrow in Warsaw, Indiana I will face myself..

..and I will know that I am not fully who I will become; that I am telling the stories of the least of these because they need our help but also because I need to hear and tell these stories; I need to know these truths. So that, as I grow older I will grow more into a man who more fully reflects the things he knows and believes.  For now, and tonight in Warsaw, Indiana, I am simply thankful for “How great the poor are that, in their poverty, they would allow us the blessed opportunity to serve them.” -Mother Theresa

I’ve been posting pieces over at Soul-Audio.com. This time ’round, I’ve revamped an old thought about the T-Shirt I made in ‘99 which reads “They Will Know We Are Christians By Our T-Shirts.”

Go to Soul-Audio.com to read it.